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As women, we inch toward menopause, are in the midst of menopause, or have surpassed it all. Whatever and wherever you may be, in your life right now, just know we all go through this. It is another transition and it can be feisty so to speak with hot flashes and feeling like crap. This is a game changer and can really wreak havoc on our attitudes, our minds, and our overall health. It allows our Hag in the Attic to take over…
Leaving the door open just a crack allows for her to come barreling down those attic stairs, carrying on with a vengeance! She is the “Hag in the Attic!” She doesn’t need any weapons in hand for she is the weapon! She constantly is looking, sitting, perched for opportunities to keep us comfortable, stuck, and safe. She knows her job, for you have assigned her to do this shit. You, the driver of the bus, have given her the permission for years to be the Hag, say a bunch of convoluted BS to you, and allow her to drive the bus. Listen, folks, she is doing what you told her to do– be the Hag in the Attic. She controls your mind, your behavior, and your decisions all based upon her behavior…FEAR. Oh, there is that nasty four-letter word– FEAR!
Welcome to the Mindset World. Our physical world feeds our mindset. And guess who eats that up like it is the last supper? You got it, the Hag! Well, you may be asking how does this all happen and how do we get rid of her? So let’s begin here:
- Our outside physical world. Yep, good ole fashion society! Let’s begin with the news. The news reports the (mostly) negative things that are happening in your neighborhood, state, country and around the world. Let’s face it; we are a global industry with technology. Around the world. We listen, buy into all of this, and then believe it. Hell, why not? It is on our TVs or iPads. It is pouring into our lives, right? We drink this stuff up and wear it like our favorite outfit.
- People, yes people. Another avenue of the collaboration between your Hag and outside influences are people and their opinions. Unfortunately, our families and close friends have a lot to say from childhood until now. We carry childhood comments into adulthood, and they keep us small, dull, and not shining into our true alignment where we are joyous, flowing smoothly, and passionate! People will always say BS to you; it is up to YOU to decide if you will buy it, wear it, eat it and drink it. You choose; and let me tell you, it isn’t easy with all the noisy distractions going on.
- Perfectionism. Yep, I said it. Perfectionism is another personality of the Hag. This holds us back from starting and completing work. The Hag is all about keeping you so comfortable and fearful, so you’ll never find your path. She is driving your bus, and it is the time to place her in the back seat. We are the drivers in our lives, and she won’t be quiet. We have given her full reign of our lives. It is time for us to take over!
What is in our thoughts controls the mindset and more importantly our ACTIONS. Scary isn’t it? And this all begins somewhere… It starts in our hearts, travels through our bodies, ends up in the mind, and then drives us to our actions. We procrastinate, wait until everything is perfect (the biggest fallacy out there is perfectionism), quit because someone criticized us, make mistakes, and lose site of our big fat “Why,” all because the Hag wants to keep us safe, right where we are at now!
And here is the kicker, we gave her this job. Yes, indeed. We gave her the keys on a silver platter. We bought the bus for her and then gave her full control! Total control! Now here is the magic to all of this.
We cannot get rid of that Hag; we need her to manage our baseball team of emotions, that is her job.
DO NOT TRY TO:
- Out scream her (she will come back bigger, louder with a vengeance to kill).
- Get rid of her. Remember we need her to manage, not control other things. She needs direction, boundaries, and wants to be wanted. Period.
- CONTROL her! That is overrated. Shift into a manage mentality! We have zero control over anything, all we can do is manage. Anything past that is another fallacy. Seriously.
Our mindset is our choice. And yes it is driven by our voice. So do we let the Hag run the show or do we step into our true voice supported by our heart and soul? This takes work, and if you just went “Ugh, that dreaded word, ‘work'”… that is your Hag talking. Let’s take this on, and not by grabbing a bull by its horns (she will just kick and scream louder than a teenager if you take on that attitude).
Let’s begin with a few deep, really deep breaths, then my favorite: positive affirmation statements. “I am…” these can be short, sweet, and to the point. I like three to five words for mine. Remember, these are POSITIVE, not an explanation or a maybe-gonna-try-attitude. “I am…” And trust me the Hag is going to really barrel down those stairs screaming in the beginning, just reassure her you know what you are doing and she needs to go back to her room and read a book!
There is one more critical and powerful piece here. What is your higher belief and faith? We need to turn and release all of this to a higher power. Call it what you want, the Universe, God, whatever, but you need this support to surrender to. No human being can provide this for you– I have tried this personally and ended up with dismay and disappointment. Yes, we do need to surround ourselves with like-minded individuals for support. However, we need something bigger than all of us. Our Hag can be one tough bitch that hangs on for dear life. We have taught her that and given permission for her to do this!
It’s your choice. Is your door locked shut or door wide open for the Hag? I choose to leave mine ajar, for I need her but on my terms and my terms only.
Kim B. Smith
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