middle-aged woman frat house

10 Signs You’re A Middle-Aged Woman Living in a Frat House

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I woke up after 12 years of marriage and realized I’m a middle-aged woman living in a fraternity house, or at least the equivalent of one. You see, my step daughter left for college a couple of years ago (Go Blue!), and I’ve been surrounded by testosterone ever since.  My husband, son, and canine are the BEST (50, 11, and 2, respectively), but they have recently adopted a common mentality: one of an 18-year-old frat boy.

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This isn’t a rom-com or a watered-down version of The Graduate. This is Animal House meets 9 To 5.  Are there other middle-aged women who got caught up in this alternative reality without knowing it?  Here are some signs that you, too, may be living in a frat house:

1. Weekly farting contests. You are the default judge since everyone else in the house competes.

 

2. Your husband (a.k.a. Chapter President) wears a concert tee, jeans, Vans, and a baseball cap. Every day.

 

3. Soccer balls, basketballs, and footballs litter the yard. And the kitchen. And the stairwell.

 

4. You have a mascot. Ours is Spike the bulldog. He’s allowed to sleep wherever he wants and is hailed sacred by the brotherhood.

 

5. Three of the four house TVs are on Sports Center. The other is on YouTube sports bloopers.

 

6. Toilet seats are up and sprays of urine cover the bowl and surrounding areas with Olympic prowess.

 

7.  Xbox competition is not a game. It is a mission that players only quit when their eyes have dried out and fallen out of their heads.

 

8. Costco trips are planned around running out of beer and toilet paper.

 

9. Bedrooms smell like a combination of sweaty practice uniforms, foot odor, and moldy ham sandwiches (<– true story).

 

10. There are four “house” food groups: Hamburgers, tacos, pizza, and BBQ.

 

Are you a middle-aged woman living in a frat house?  Share your signs with us in the comments!

 

 

About The Author
Thea Wood mona lisa
Thea Wood

 

Thea Wood is the co-publisher of SheSpark.com and a certified image consultant from Austin, TX.  She wrote the upcoming e-book The Intentional Makeover  and co-authored the book Socially Smart & Savvy. Thea shares styling advice at TheaWood.com, helping women create a signature style that says who they are and where they’re going.

4 comments on “10 Signs You’re A Middle-Aged Woman Living in a Frat House

  1. Not quite a frat house as Im in the UK;-) But yes lots of boys stuff here..I have hubby and three boys. Regular farting competitions, wet dirty clothes everywhere, toilet seats up, messy bedrooms..the list goes on and on!!! And Ive got years more of it!

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